Clear Out Your Cupboards And Sweep The Fridge:

“Once you decide what you want in a relationship you must make an active plan to achieve it.”

In order for us to do this, we must set realistic goals and continue with the plan. This entails monitoring what is working for you and what is not working. 

So how exactly do we know what is working?

1. Buy a notebook or the Love Rules Book

• This book has blank spaces which can be used to record your thoughts. 
• “Studies prove that you retain more information by physically writing it down using paper and a pen.

2. Use a computer, iPad, tablet, or mobile app

• If you are using a computer app check for decorative templates to use for your Microsoft or word documents. 
• If you are using a mobile app choose one that is attractive and colorful. This will make writing in it enjoyable and will make you want to write in it and actually get used to doing it every day.

Once you’ve got your method of journalism it’s time to start writing. In your journal, the book asks you to answer some questions. I answered a few of these questions openly and honestly here so that it may possibly give you the courage to start a journal of your own. This website gave me the option to start a blog which I will need to stay dedicated to. What better way could I do that than by starting here?

Answer the following questions:

1. What do you want more of in your love life?

Communication is one thing that I could say I want more of in my love life. I tend to shy always from communicating early on in relationships. I will be the first to admit it. Sadly, I love to talk! This is probably because it is very easy to put guys in the friend zone if you talk too often. It is also VERY easy to assume that you are in love with someone just because you talk to each other every day. Sex would be the second thing on my list because honestly, who wants to have sex without being in love?

2. Fun sex without obligation to call them after?

Let’s be truthful here. Plenty of people have casual hookups with no intentions of speaking to each other afterward. Lots of working people don’t necessarily have time for real relationships because they are always so busy. PLUS, truth be told both men and women alike are ANNOYING. Yes, I said it. 

3. Do you want more laughter or more trust?

I laugh at men who say “I’m not like other guys. Trust me.” Most guys in this day and age use that same exact line. Now I cannot possibly place all men in the same category but this is a well known FACT. Feel free to correct me if I am wrong.

4. Someone to travel or explore with?

Yes. How else would we go on our first date? With that being said, let’s be honest once again. There are some creepers out there in this world. We aren’t as willing to just jump on a plane or hop in a car with a complete stranger. But we do so LET’S GO! I mean really how else would you get to the love of your life without traveling? If you’re waiting on giving birth to your lover you still have 9 months to wait. And truth be told not all parents fall in love with their kids!

5. Netflix and chill with?

Ummm… This is a straight shot to the friend zone believe it or not. If the friend zone isn’t the goal then you plan on going to bed with them either before or during the Netflix show. Totally not after especially if you didn’t enjoy the experience!

6. Someone to help you get over the heartbreak of your most recent breakup?

Okay, I have done this before. We all probably have not been looking for new love or a new relationship, just something to do. It’s not the right thing to do because that person may be looking for love. They may also be looking for something long-term and you just want to fill a void. This causes most of the issues people have in relationships today. It works for a few moments but once the initial rush is over both parties end up in hurt places. That is NEVER a good thing.

7. Someone to marry in the next year or so and start a family with?

Yes. That is the goal for most of us but it doesn’t always work out that way. I haven’t quite decided on the whole marriage thing yet. A family is on the table though. Most men and women have children early on in life so marriage thing tends to complicate relationships. 

“ It doesn’t matter where you are in life or how old you are, figuring out what you want and needs in a partner at this specific time in life will help you focus your search.”

In the book, they describe a scenario that may seem familiar to the best of us regardless of your occupation, relationship status, or how much you enjoyed your time together. The scenario is something like this in as few words as possible:

Boy meets girl. They plan to hook up. They get together and right after the encounter one or the other breaks the news. “ I had a great time but I am not currently looking for anything serious. I hope you understand.” A mutual agreement is agreed upon but most times one person is always looking for something other than what they agreed to. This is mainly because you may have had a great time with the person and would love to do it again but that was it for one party. 

“ We have no classes, schooling, or relationship intelligence because we are somehow supposed to have all that under control as if circumstances will one day organically present us with the perfect partner.”

That may be wishful thinking but it rarely ever happens if it happens at all. It is much easier for us to change other aspects of our lives faster than it is to change romantic partners especially after you start having children.