To Break the ice or Not?

Entering into a new relationship can be hard. This is especially true when you aren’t quite sure how you should be communicating. Trying to break the ice in the beginning stages can be a struggle when you don’t know what you want to know. I know that was a mouthful. What I’m really trying to say is that although we care about your favorite color and your favorite sports team, we need to know more. What do we want to know though?

We want to know EVERYTHING but we don’t want to be viewed as offensive or nosey. The following questions are an easy way to get a glimpse of your partner’s intentions while letting them know a bit about you. This will allow you to ease your way into their personal space or quickly head for the nearest exit.

1. How Can I best support you when you are having a bad day?

Normally we would attempt to avoid having bad days in a relationship. Unfortunately, that isn’t possible for most of us while being in a serious relationship. This is due to two people joining together to live in harmony as a unit instead of as individuals. I don’t tend to have bad days perse but when I do have a bad day I would like for my partner to be attentive to my needs. Not materialistic or babying me but knowing when I need someone to talk to or a moment to myself. That’s the best way to support me when having a bad day. Buying me things is a lot easier for me though. (Insert laugh here)

2. How often do you think about me when we are apart?

I will be the first to admit that I actually enjoy being alone most time. I know it sounds lame but it’s actually not. While that may be true I also love all the clinginess my partner has to offer as long as it’s not too much. I like texting all day and falling asleep on the phone at night. I like you coming to visit me and all that good stuff. NOW with that being said I just have one request.

DONT be BORING. That tends to be annoying. If you don’t have much to say just message me and let me know you thought about me and leave it at that. Call me and let me know that you had a bit of free time and you wanted to hear my voice. When the conversation becomes dull be able to sense that and HANG UP. But don’t try to rush me off the phone if I’m still talking. lol

3. What is your biggest fear when it comes to dating and relationships?

Relationships don’t scare me much these days. I’m more of a social person so I tend to meet people all the time and capture their engagement. The only thing that scares me about being in relationships now is the fact that most people have trust issues. Myself included. I find it a lot harder to trust people when going into new relationships because we all have the same feelings. We aren’t quite sure if the person we are dating is trustworthy even though they haven’t given us a reason not to believe them. Past hurts can hinder us and be our stumbling blocks when moving into new relationships.

Also, many people who are middle-aged have plenty of previous relationships as well as children from them. Bringing children into new relationships is always complicated. Stepping into a new relationship with long-term goals can be hard once the children have met and gotten to know your partner. My fear is I will end up getting stuck in a bad relationship “Just for the kids”.

4. What qualities do you appreciate the most in your partner?

I appreciate my partner being on time and present. Being late is one of my biggest pet peeves. I always strive to be on time and in place when I need to or should be. This is mainly because I actually care about what people think about me and how I am perceived at work and in relationships. Having a partner or spouse make plans for us and not show up or show up late annoys me. Also, this alters my mood and I don’t even want to be bothered anymore. Not being present is another way to annoy me and cause me to draw back from the relationship.

Being present is a good way to indicate to your partner that you are “In this together”. Being missing in action majority of the dating stage can pose many red flags. This in turn can cause many problems in your relationship, especially during the early stages. Once a person sees you being inconsistent they will start to treat you differently and that will cause them to begin looking elsewhere. If you want a thriving relationship be sure to be PRESENT and show up ON TIME. 

5. What is your attitude toward dating?

I love dating. I love everything about going on dates, meeting new people, and building new relationships. I like hanging out and spending time with my partner as much as possible. I enjoy texts and talking on the phone. I absolutely love to talk on the phone! I will talk your head off but I do listen more than I talk. Dating can be scary when it comes to the length of time knowing people and wanting to move forward. I’m not sure how I feel about the 90-day rule and things like that because it could be a waste of time. (I am not condoning any particular behaviors here I’m just saying”).